Tuesday, 14 May 2019

Spring Mornings (A Loveku)

The
snow is
gone.
I am dreaming of
bright spring
mornings
with a longing heart.

Tzippor

Song-being, the sky is your domain;
the sky is pregnant with song!
A brilliant flash of rainbow wings
and I am helpless, mesmerized.

Skyah has sent you to earth to love us.
Bashful heavenly ambassadors,
your songs and cries bring me closer to God.

The Sun is Yet Rising

Shining bread flies
and the land cries.
The spirit song so sweet,
deaf to concrete ears
and the wings of the heart are still.

I am famished
in the land so joyous.
The Rook has embraced me
with a weary smile.
Oh how soft the feathers of death!
His song is tears.

The Bird of Paradise
alights on the fencepost.
I bury my face in his breast
and sob the song so deep.
His rainbow feathers are like lightning,
giving life to the heart.
"Dry your eyes, little one.
The sun is yet rising."

Thursday, 9 May 2019

Who is there with a heart like yours, O Jehovah?

Who is there with a heart like yours, O Jehovah?
There is no one like you, Loving Merciful,
for you are exalting all those weeping over their error,
and you are establishing all those
who have begged for forgiveness.

There is no one like you, Father Embracing,
for you gather up your people into your wings
and comfort them until the end of all sorrow.

Cygnet Choir

A gathering of young swan,
a morning awaited for so long.
The spring ceremony begins
as the cygnets sing.

"See how the leaves, green and wild,
turn themselves to the sun.
The lily fair, among her hair,
Gaia steps lightly, bringing joy and life."

Terminating winter, white banished
from the surface of the earth.
The sun, formerly obscured by dark clouds,
emerges from the Labyrinth Above.

Winter's wraith is blown away.
A warm caress descends upon the land.
The lark on the hill, I by the windowsill,
and he and I sing across valleys of endless breeze.

Tuesday, 7 May 2019

Singing Their Joy at My Healing (Apr. 2019)

Look! He has called me back from death.
The eyes of flinty rock that once looked upon flesh
are now sparkling sapphires peering into the spirit.
The dry and listless hair of one dying
has become strands of black opals, burnished to a shine.
The ears of concrete that were hard and unhearing
have become channels of glittering emeralds,
accommodating every righteous sound.
The skin, cracked and bleeding,
the skin of one tempted and then crushed by Satan,
has become the smoothest alabaster,
whiter than snow and blinding to look upon
in the light of day.

On the wings of eagles He carried a broken man
and has remade me into something beautiful.
He commands the sons of the ravens to come to me,
bringing me my food,
and I do not send them off
until I have bathed and preened them.

Jehovah has called me to Him,
and I have answered,
and He has removed the veil from my heart.
Now I reflect His glory, more and more by the day,
and the ravens, the eagles, and all the birds of heaven
congregate around me, singing their joy at my healing
and giving praise to God.

Thursday, 11 April 2019

Sparrow has grown old

Sparrow has grown old;
his wings are heavy and his voice not as bright.
The cool wind of fall ruffles hair and feathers
as we sit together by the lake.

Turning to me, he says:
"Brother, even the sky will die,
and the wind itself is not a thing eternal.
But you, if you remain righteous and faithful,
you will see Paradise forever."

Putting my arm around him and holding him tight,
I choke out my words:
"Please, do not speak of such a thing!
I cannot bear to see you go.
You who are so beautiful and so free in the sky,
I do not wish to see cold in the ground."

"I know that such a thought is painful,
but I cannot escape my destiny.
Do not worry, though, for my children you will love,
and their children after me;
you will always have brothers and sisters in us."

Rain Haiku / In Its Wake

Rain Haiku

After the rain -
the birds exultant
and the smell of worms



In Its Wake

cascading,
grass fading,
summer to fall -
time does not wait
to throw you the ball

Forever in Your Finger

You have Forever in Your finger!
Light bursts forth from a thought;
the merest syllable of a word
formed galaxies before Your eyes.

There is no place that is not touched
by the immensity of Your goodness,
nor is there a world that does not know
of Your great Love.

Orgy of Song

You can find me flapping in every wing,
shining in the rays of the setting sun,
scattered in the storm winds
like so many poplar seeds,
white and fluffy and covering all.

Each breath is shared by bird and beast,
flower and tree.
I breathe you, sisters and brothers;
let us love each other as one being of praise,
an orgy of song and heartbeats
proclaiming Him Creator of All.

Love is the Melody

Is there a haiku in a breath,
is there a sonnet in a sigh?
Life is a poem and a song,
and we can choose the chords.
Love is the melody,
sweet and never dissonant,
and it makes all songs worthy.

Reset [2015/2016?]

Jehovah, if only you would come down to me
and hit the reset button!
Send me back to the beginning of the game,
and fill my inventory with so many power-ups
to see me through each and every level.

You have set down the variables and the subroutines,
you are Admin over all,
and yet the majority of players deny your existence.
Shall the code say to the programmer:
"Why did you write me this way?"
Shall it not rather follow the scripts it has been given,
and acknowledge its Creator?

Jehovah, my code has been corrupted,
and I have wandered to where I do not belong.
Satan noclips his way through the maps,
offering God Mode to any who will worship him;
he offers what he does not have,
and no player is he able to save.
As a final boss he is found pathetic
before your great power.

Full of Love

To the tune of 'Only You' by Yazoo


Seems like only yesterday
that I become a stray
going reckless

But now that I know that I must change
my ways rearrange
and stop being feckless

If there's one person I should serve
keep on a straight path and do not swerve
Jehovah God above,
full of Love.

Will he take me back again
after all of my sin
and restore me?

They say He is quick to forgive
that He wants all to live...
does He adore me?

If there's one person I should serve
keep on a straight path and do not swerve
Jehovah God above,
full of Love.

Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Everywhere I turn (April 2019)

Everywhere I turn,
there is your face.
Everywhere I step,
I walk into your embrace.

Were I to climb the tallest mountain,
you would stand beside me on the summit.
Were I to sink down into the ocean's depths,
you would be beside me on the ocean floor.
Were I to fly far, far away
(for my heart has wings),
you would see me off at my departure
and greet me upon my arrival.

Everywhere, everywhere,
you are to be found.

Earnest petition to the Unending Light (2015?)

Earnest petition to the Unending Light:
"Hello, O Great One, please end this night."

"The time is not yet, be patient and true."
"But my heart is stricken, and I long for the New."

"Noted, my dear one, but I cannot rush.
So many to enlighten, so many to touch."

"Then dry all my tears, Lord, and fill me with joy."
"My spirit will strengthen, my Love be a buoy."

is there a point


is
there a
point to all
of this verbiage
"no"

is
there a
point to all
of the birds singing
"yes"



there is a blue

there is sun
     warmth now too

shriveled (skeletal trees
  come back to l(if)e
    ) buds appear

there is a blue
above me and you

Astral Father

Astral Father, come take me away,
set me free from this shell,
your love to obey.

Set a change in my heart;
let sorrow's furrows be filled,
that I may make a new start.

May the glorious day not be far
when you sweep in in your glittering robes
and show all men what they are.

My Sparrow Tongue Sings Praises (For His Loyal Love Endures Forever) (03/29/2019)

I.

Jehovah saw the good in me,
for his loyal love endures forever.
He roused me with his discipline,
for his loyal love endures forever.
All those he loves he scourges,
for his loyal love endures forever.
He cast me out of the congregation,
for his loyal love endures forever.
Now I begin to know him,
for his loyal love endures forever.
My eyes can now see my Father,
for his loyal love endures forever.
My ears have been unstopped,
for his loyal love endures forever.
My heart leaps for joy,
for his loyal love endures forever.
My sparrow tongue sings praises,
for his loyal love endures forever.
I sing out from the branches:
"his loyal love endures forever!"
My feet grasp the branches of his holy mustard tree,
for his loyal love endures forever.
He shades me from the fiery sun,
for his loyal love endures forever.
He protects me from the roaring winds,
for his loyal love endures forever.
The bountiful leaves swallow rain and hail,
for his loyal love endures forever.
In all my ways may I take notice of him,
for his loyal love endures forever.

II.

Jehovah, please, hold me close,
for your loyal love endures forever.
I was a fleshly fool!
Your loyal love endures forever.
I did what was gross and obscene before you.
Your loyal love endures forever.
But see now how I have changed!
Your loyal love endures forever.
Every day I rise and consider your word,
for your loyal love endures forever.
I pray to you to help me understand,
for your loyal love endures forever.
Search through me and know me,
for your loyal love endures forever.
See if there is within me any harmful thoughts,
for your loyal love endures forever.
Help me to remove those thoughts, O Jehovah,
for your loyal love endures forever.
Help me to replace them with thoughts of peace,
and not of calamity,
for your loyal love endures forever.
Teach me to call out to you in trueness,
for your loyal love endures forever.
May my feet never leave these branches,
for your loyal love endures forever.
Here I fear none except you,
for your loyal love endures forever.
May I live to see the new scrolls opened,
for your loyal love endures forever.
May I read them and inculcate them in my heart,
for your loyal love endures forever.

O Jehovah, my Father, Father of All,
Holiest of Holy Ones,
slow to anger and compassionate,
good and ready to forgive,
may I never leave the path of the righteous again.
May I see your new world and endure forever,
for your loyal love endures forever!

Tears of One Awoken (03/29/2019)

"With ropes of love I have drawn you to me;
I have lifted you out of the pit.
For even in the depths of your brazen conduct
I could see a heart rightly disposed,
and oh how I longed to see you return to me,
leaving aside your disgusting practices
and turning your attention to things pure and upright and good.

Your conscience had severely dulled,
and only here or there did it stab you with guilt.
Alone you would not have broken free.
I could see the war in you,
for you wished to do good
but at the same time lusted like a mere animal,
a stallion after mares, a bull after cows,
a bull running to the slaughter day and night.

And so I knew I had to act.
You were asleep, drugged with lust,
and there was only one thing
I had not yet tried in order to wake you.
Though it hurt me (for know that I love you),
I could not allow your leaven any longer
within my holy congregation.

You know the rest, my son,
how with a heavy heart I handed you over to Satan,
hoping that you would awake.
And now I am all joy,
for you have awoken,
and day by day you rub the sleep from your eyes,
poring over my word and cleansing your path.

Please, keep me before you always,
and it will go well with you.
Pummel your body and lead it as a slave,
namely, a slave to me and to righteousness.
Do not allow yourself to slip back into sleep,
for to sleep again would be your end.
Continue on the path of what is right,
and soon you will be with
your brothers and sisters once more.

Though I handed you over to Satan,
you have come back to me with tears,
true tears, tears of one awoken,
tears of one born again, confused and scared,
and I eagerly took you in."

Tuesday, 19 March 2019

Descend From Your Thrones (Mar. 19, 2019)

You who are haughty and make great brags,
you should be humble.
It is not good that a man
should think too much of himself.

Jehovah sets the example,
for he has given us the privilege
of working with Him,
making us "fellow workers."

And what is more, it is written:
"the tent of God is with mankind."
If the Almighty does not refrain
from coming down from heaven to be with us,
then should we not all descend from
the thrones of our own making
and bow before Him?

I am a solitary bird (Mar. 2019)

I am a solitary bird, watching from a roof.
I am a young raven, cut off from the flock,
and crying out to you for food.

When you open your hand, all are satisfied.
But when you hide your face, the growling of their bellies
reaches clear to heaven.
My God, my God, I seek my food from you,
for to whom else shall I go?
All things are from you.
I brandish my wings and croak out a song of praise,
that you may know what is in my heart
and that you may look kindly upon me.

This roof is all that I have,
for my wings no longer lift me into the air,
and your thermals you have denied me.
I have done wrong,
and this is why I am all alone,
with no one to kindly preen me
(for I preen myself in the night, with tears)
and no one to lovingly nuzzle me with their beaks.

When you send out your spirit, O God,
then it means life to whomever you choose.
May you show mercy upon me
and not allow me to be without a flock forever.
May the day come when you reinstall me
unto the congregation, to be with my brothers and sisters,
knowing the depths of your undeserved kindness.

The Path of L(ov/if)e (2017)


The Path of L(ov/if)e

Oh Jehovah, limitless and Lovemore,
stationed upon an indestructible throne,
your feet pushing through the heavens
and coming to rest on the earth,
clothed in the most brilliant white
and dazzling electrum,
knowing everything and being ignorant of nothing,
your eyes scanning all,
peering into the deepest depths of every heart,
seeing the person and preparing their healing,
offering medicine of spirit and tinctures of Love,
offering and being turned down by the proud,
offering and being accepted by the meek,
giving every good gift and every perfect present,
giving and giving and never stopping,
flooding us with blessings,
blessings that only the righteous will notice,
for the unrighteous call you stingy
and accuse you of being ever far away,
when in reality you have descended from the heavens
and appear before our face,
you surround us on all sides and besiege us with Love,
you entreat us, getting up early and going to bed late,
sending your prophets, declaring messages of peace
and of hope, messages of a beautiful future,
never tiring, never giving up,
for you do not delight in the death of anyone,
you who wish for all to live,
you who are Love, you who exemplify Love
so much that it might as well be your name,
Oh Jehovah, you are my father,
you are the one who caused my birth
and who filled me with breath,
you are the one who has sustained me
and continues to sustain me day by day,
you are the one who made me possible,
you who took a measure of your great Love
and fashioned it into a man,
living, breathing Love,
and if I remain in the statutes of Love
then I will endure forever, because ‘Love never fails’.

Oh Jehovah, guide your child, your son,
and do not allow me to leave the path of Love,
which is the path to life, endless life,
Life Everlasting in the New World,
a World that will be pure and right,
joy like a never-setting sun,
peace like a lover’s warm embrace,
patience like the river carving a mountain,
kindness from hearts trained in selflessness,
goodness from those taught by you,
faith that cannot be shaken but that can shake all things,
mildness like the babbling brook under a cool moon,
self-control from those who have conquered their bodies
by means of Love, Love for you and your son, Jesus,
and, last but first, last but the greatest,
Love that will never be put out,
Love that made the world and everything in it,
Love that cares for and tends to it,
Love that is everything anything allthings.

Words of the Spirit 05/16/17


Words of the Spirit 05/16/17

I.
Waste away this fleshly form
Spirit within in goodness reborn
Inward look and outward act
Change wrong opinion to righteous fact

Empty the house of earthly goods
Minimal, simple, living should
That which the hands can hold
is nothing beside His immaterial gold

Mind and heart, the seat of self
Direct your life, and nothing else
Physical power will gradually wane
but the inner servant will always remain

II.
Do not ask what the word of Jehovah is
and then proceed to go your own way.
Do not seek his counsel only to reject it.
Is He not the source of wisdom?
You spurn wisdom and embrace foolishness,
and your end is assured.

His word is great, and the hearing of it
will bring weary men vigor;
the wisdom of Jehovah is power itself.
When He speaks, do not fail to listen,
for by your obedience you will live anon.

We are all a family under one Father,
brothers and sisters!
If one falls, the rest can raise him up.
If one soars, he will drag others in his wake,
and they will not fail to sing out their joy.

III.
I have no strength;
Jehovah is my strength.
My eyes grow dim;
Jehovah opens new eyes within my heart.
My feet plod along the roadway;
Jehovah does not let my feet strike stone.
I tremble and weep; Jehovah encircles me
and carries me to the gathering of my brothers.

IV.
The more of this world that I give up,
the lighter I feel.
And yet I am not without possessions;
in fact, my coffers are filled with knowledge and spirit
ever more day by day,
and I end up with more than I had before.
No matter what Jehovah gives me,
I am not crushed under the weight of it all,
for His yoke is kindly and His load is light.

V.
When our enemies increase, brothers and sisters, let us rejoice!
For the day draws ever nearer.
When the armies grow and their hatred for us seethes,
we will smile and remain ever in prayer.
Their burning missiles will fly,
but they will not touch us.
No weapon will harm us,
for this is our inheritance from Jehovah.

VI.
Before the older ones, bow your head;
be respectful to the gray-headed ones,
for they have come before you
and know intimately the path.
Let them walk ahead of you,
and do not grumble about their slowness of step,
for they will lead you into their treasure houses of wisdom.

VII.
If you have fallen, give me your hand.
I will lift you up, and I will bring you
into the house of Jehovah.
If I have fallen, I give you my hand,
and you will lift me up,
and together we shall go into the inner chambers of Jehovah’s house,
where the fire of righteousness resides, warming all.

Love is the Miracle (2017)


Love is the Miracle

Love is a miracle. Love is the miracle. Because of Love, Jehovah created the universe. Created the earth. Created all life. Created us.

Because of Love, Jehovah did not abandon his purpose when Adam and Eve sinned. He did not destroy Satan and Adam and Eve and start over again, but instead put plans in motion to answer the question of his sovereignty and prove that he is our rightful ruler.

Because of Love, Jehovah again and again forgave his people, who tested him and hurt over the course of thousands of years.

Because of Love, Jehovah held back destruction from repentant ones and upheld his judgments against the lawless ones. Because of Love, he is a God who is ready to forgive. Because of Love, he does not lie, but keeps his word and carries it out.

Because of Love, Jehovah gave his own-begotten son, Jesus, for us. He sent him to earth to teach us, then slew him upon the stake so that Jesus’ righteous blood could free us with ransom from sin and death.

Because of Love, Jehovah is patient, “because he does not desire anyone to be destroyed but desires all to attain to repentance.” (2 Pet. 3:9)

Because of Love, Jehovah holds out for us “a future and a hope”, a Paradise in which we can live forever in perfect health and in peace (Jer. 29:11). Jehovah will be with us. “Death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things [will] have passed away.” (Rev. 21:3,4) There will not be “any harm or any ruin in all [Jehovah’s] holy mountain, because the earth will certainly be filled with the knowledge of Jehovah as the waters cover the sea.” (Isa. 11:9)

Because of Love, there is you, and me, and all.

Because of Love, Love.

Jehovah, our God, is Love. And in the new system, in the Paradise, “when all things will have been subjected to him, then the Son himself will also subject himself to the One who subjected all things to him, that God may be all things to everyone.” (1 Cor. 15:28) God is Love. He will be all things to everyone. Love will be all things to everyone.

Love is a miracle. Love is the miracle. So let us love the one who loves, and love others, and love all. Love will not fail. It never fails. And wherever love goes, it leaves miracles in its wake. Love is the true power, the power from which all other powers arise. Nothing can exist without Love, for all exists because of Love.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love, I have become a clanging gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and understand all the sacred secrets and all knowledge, and if I have all the faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my belongings to feed others, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I do not benefit at all.” (1 Cor. 13:1-3)

Without Love, I am nothing. To deny Love is to deny myself, to destroy it is to bring myself to nothing, to reduce myself to dust. Without Love, there is no seeing, no hearing, no speaking, no knowing. Without Love—




What We Can Learn From The Rechabites (2017)


What We Can Learn From The Rechabites

In the 35th chapter of the book of Jeremiah, we see Jehovah asking Jeremiah to bring the Rechabites into the house of Jehovah and give them wine to drink. Just what is going on here? What was Jehovah up to?

Jeremiah did as he was told, and brought the Rechabites into one of the dining rooms of the house of Jehovah, sat them down, and gave them wine to drink. But, instead of drinking, they respectfully refused. Why? Here is the explanation for their refusal in their own words: “We will not drink wine, because Je·honʹa·dab the son of Reʹchab, our forefather, gave us this command, ‘Neither you nor your sons must ever drink wine. And you must not build a house, sow seed, or plant or obtain a vineyard. Instead, you must always dwell in tents, so that you may live for a long time in the land where you are residing as foreigners.’ So we continue to obey the voice of Je·honʹa·dab the son of our forefather Reʹchab in all that he commanded us, by never drinking any wine—we, our wives, our sons, and our daughters. And we do not build houses to dwell in, nor do we have vineyards or fields or seed. We keep living in tents and obeying all that Je·honʹa·dab our forefather commanded us.” (Jer. 35:6-10)

Jehovah then speaks up and tells Jeremiah his reason for this test: to make a point about the Israelites’ utter lack of obedience. The Rechabites were loyal and obedient to their earthly father, and this pleased Jehovah to see such obedience. On the other hand, the Israelites flagrantly disobeyed their heavenly father Jehovah! Jehovah then tells Jeremiah to relay these words to the unfaithful Israelites: “Were you not continually urged to obey my words?...Je·honʹa·dab the son of Reʹchab commanded his descendants not to drink wine, and they have carried out his words by not drinking it to this day, thus obeying the order of their forefather. However, I have spoken to you again and again, but you have not obeyed me. And I kept sending all my servants the prophets to you, sending them again and again, saying, ‘Turn back, please, each of you from your evil ways, and do what is right! Do not walk after other gods and serve them. Then you will keep dwelling in the land that I gave to you and your forefathers.’ But you did not incline your ear or listen to me.” (Jer. 35:13-15) Jehovah was upset and extremely disappointed in his people.

But what of the Rechabites? How did Jehovah view them? He viewed them favorably, and he made this promise to them: “There will never fail to be a descendant of Je·honʹa·dab the son of Reʹchab to serve in my presence.” (Jer. 35:19) For their course of faithfulness to their forefather, Jehovah would make sure that their family line would continue.

This is a powerful lesson in obedience. The prophet Samuel, when rebuking Saul for his disobedience, had this to say: “Does Jehovah take as much pleasure in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of Jehovah? Look! To obey is better than a sacrifice, and to pay attention than the fat of rams.” (1 Sam. 15:22) What Jehovah wants from us most is obedience: obedience to him, to his word, to his son Jesus. We are no longer required to offer up animal sacrifices, but we are required to offer up a sacrifice of obedience.

While this is the main point to be learned from this passage, I wonder if we could dig a little deeper. To that end, I would like to take a closer look at the proscription that Jehonadab placed upon his descendants.

First off, what was the reason behind the proscription? Jehonadab laid a command on his family to live in tents, not sowing seed, not planting vineyards, and not drinking wine, because they were alien residents in the land. By building a house, sowing seed, and planting and obtaining vineyards, they would be settling down, putting down roots...becoming as a natural resident of the land. The exact reason why he gave this command is not explicitly stated, but it is possible that he wanted them to have lives that were simple, not being tied down by houses, land, or possessions, able to move when necessary and to focus more on spiritual things.

Today, life has become anything but simple. Thanks to progress and technology, the world is moving ever faster, rushing headlong into the future...and into destruction. Like the Rechabites, we should do our utmost to be “no part of the world” (Joh. 15:19). Let us not build houses, sow seed, plant and obtain vineyards, let us not put down roots in a system of things that will soon be wiped out. Let us dwell in tents, let us not be weighed down by the things of this world, so that we may flee from the coming destruction, fleeing to the safety of Jehovah’s wings.

But then, what of the last commandment, namely, for them not to drink wine? Jehovah has not barred us from drinking wine. In fact, the Psalmist said that wine “makes man’s heart rejoice.” (Ps. 104:15) Wine is a gift from God. As long as it is consumed in moderation, and we are not drinking to drunkenness, then there is no harm in enjoying it. So why did Jehonadab tell his descendants not to drink it?

Wine is a type of alcohol, and alcohol is a depressant. While it often does invoke merriment, it also dulls the senses. Living in tents, as alien residents of the land, the Rechabites were better able to keep their senses. Avoiding wine would also help them to keep their senses and their focus. Jehovah does not ask us to refrain from drinking wine, but could we figuratively abstain? Could we avoid becoming drunk on the influence of the world around us? Could we become spiritual teetotalers, our focus squarely on Jehovah and his Kingdom?

To be as alien residents in these last days, to keep ourselves free from the intoxication and taint of the world and keep our wits about us...this is something we can all do, and something we should do. Let us therefore make up our minds to remain separate from the world, and to reflect again and again on the Rechabites’ course of obedience and how we can imitate it.

Living in the Moment (2017)


Living in the Moment

The three major temporal tenses are past, present, and future. The past has happened, the present is happening, and the future has yet to happen. Which of these is the most important? Is it the past, rife with lessons that we can learn from those who experienced those things the hard way? Is it the future, filled with promise and possibility?

Or is it the present, the happening, the now? What happens now will become the past, and whatever the future holds for you will become the present. Of the three tenses, it is the hub, the central tense, with influence over both. Can you change the past? No, but you can add new and better things to the new-past by your actions now. Can you change the future? Definitely. What you do now plays a big part in deciding what will come of you in the future.

The power of the present is that it cannot be affected by either the past or the future. What has happened has happened, but it is not now: “The past has no power over the present moment,” says Eckhart Tolle. Those events cannot act on you now...unless, of course, you focus on the past and let it poison your heart. It only has as much power as you allow. The past can be a useful tool, to be sure, but do not let it be your life.

And what of the future? Can you know with absolute certainty what will happen? No, you cannot. So why allow what has not occurred to overcome what is occurring now? Jesus told us to “never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties.” Why? “Each day has enough of its own troubles.” (Matt. 6:34) Why tackle problems of the future when you’re already struggling and dealing with the problems of now?

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. -Alice Morse Earle

Have a look at that quote there. Let’s break it down. Yesterday is history. The past is history. Everything we do becomes history. It happens, and then it is done. Closed. Finished. History is a chronicle of events, a narrative, a story. A story can be true, of course, but what you have to take in account is that it was only completely true when it was happening. It isn’t true or factual about the present moment, so why let it interfere with now?

Tomorrow is a mystery. The etymology of the word ‘mystery’ shows that it refers to secrecy. Secret rites, secret worship, ‘only those in the know’. Secrets are things that are shut up, that are closed off, from someone. This is true of the future. It is shut off from us, because we inhabit the present. And before you say “but if I sit here for a minute, I’ll be one minute into the future!”, let me tell you that that line of thinking is wrong. One minute has been added to the past, and you are still in the present moment. The future is closed off to us. Having hopes and dreams and promises of the future can help your mind in the present day, but you cannot make those things happen any faster, you cannot move towards them, nor can you decide that everything you hope for will happen with absolute certainty. Your actions now can decide some things yet to happen, but you will not know the outcome until those things come into the present. You can create the past and slightly affect the future, but you cannot escape the present.

The present, however, is nothing to be feared or to be looked down upon. Consider the rest of the quote: Today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. When you wake up in the morning, your eyelids fluttering open to see the sun shining in through your window, breath slowly filling and leaving your lungs, are you not happy to be alive? Are you not happy to be, to exist? Existence cannot escape the present. Being is the present tense. You are a human being, not a human been or a human will-be.

You exist, you are, you are a being, thanks to Jehovah. Life is a gift from God, and, aside from the ransom sacrifice of his son Jesus, it is the best and most wonderful gift he has given us. Ralph Marston said that “life does not owe you anything because life has already given you everything.” Being alive is enough. Inhabiting today is enough. Yesterday is done, and tomorrow has not yet begun. All that remains is today, is now. Yesterday was a today, and tomorrow will become a today. All there is is today. And that is everything.

I have loved you, I love you, and I will keep loving you. But the greatest of these is I love you, for the others owe their existence to it.

Do Not Let Your Sword Rust (2017)


Do Not Let Your Sword Rust

Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust. - Sun Tzu

What is rust exactly? It is defined as “a reddish- or yellowish-brown flaky coating of iron oxide that is formed on iron or steel by oxidation, especially in the presence of moisture.” Words related to ‘rust’ are ‘corrosion, oxidation’. Rust is a commonly used metaphor for slow decay due to neglect, since it gradually converts robust iron and steel metal into a soft crumbling powder.

Why am I speaking to you about rust? Because your sword can rust, if not properly maintained. And by sword, I mean your knowledge and grasp of God’s word.

Paul likens God’s word to a sword in his letters to the Hebrews and the Ephesians. In Hebrews 4:12, he declares: “For the word of God is alive and exerts power and is sharper than any two-edged sword and pierces even to the dividing of soul and spirit, and of joints from the marrow, and is able to discern thoughts and intentions of the heart.” And in Ephesians 6, when speaking of a figurative set of spiritual ‘armor’, he mentions “the sword of the spirit, that is, God’s word.” (Eph. 6:17)

Now, I am not in any way saying that God’s word can ‘rust’, that it can at any point fail. In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke of the enduring power of God’s word: “Truly I say to you that sooner would heaven and earth pass away than for one smallest letter or one stroke of a letter to pass away from the Law until all things take place.” (Matt. 5:18) Further backing up this point, the prophet Isaiah stated, rather beautifully, that “the green grass dries up, the blossom withers, but the word of our God endures forever.” (Isa. 40:8)

God’s word is powerful, and it will always have a sharp edge that cannot be dulled. But your minds, brothers and sisters, are another matter entirely.

Water and oxygen together cause rust, but saltwater speeds the process along more quickly. Saltwater is highly corrosive. What else has a corrosive influence? The world around us. If, instead of honing your spiritual edge, you let your mind spend time on the things of the world, it can, like saltwater, begin eating away at your sword. The sword of the spirit, the sword of your mind, can be weakened by the world if you let it.

With God’s word you can “pierce even to the dividing of soul and spirit”, you can reach the heart. How well you reach the heart can very well depend on how much time you put into learning about God’s word. Reading and meditating on the scriptures can be likened to learning how to swing, parry, and thrust a sword. If you do not regularly practice your swordplay, if you do not regularly read “in an undertone” (Josh. 1:8), then you run the risk of losing your proficiency with it.

I exhort you, do not let your sword remain sheathed for long. Unsheathe it, wield it, feel the balance and heft of it, and become a master with it. Open your Bible, read it, and linger in thought about what you read, examining the words and extrapolating all the information that you can. In this way your sword will remain sharp and “no weapon formed against you will have any success.” (Isa. 54:17)

The Importance of Before (2017)


The Importance of Before

It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark - Howard Ruff

We are all quite familiar with the story of Noah, as laid out before us in the book of Genesis. Jehovah saw “that man’s wickedness was great on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only bad all the time”, and also that “the earth was filled with violence.” (Gen 6:5,11) That is not unlike how the world is today, is it not? People are going from bad to worse, love is dying, and violence courses hot through its veins.

Noah was given a warning from Jehovah about the future destruction of the wicked, and then a commission to build an ark to house all manner of animals as well as any faithful humans. In the end, the only ones who boarded the ark were Noah and his family, and the rest of mankind at that time was swept away in the ensuing Deluge.

What I would like to draw your attention to right now is the quote above. “It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.” What does that really mean? Of course we know that, before the Flood, there had never been rain upon the earth, only “a mist would go up from the earth, and it watered the entire surface of the ground.” (Gen 2:6) There was no precedent for what Noah and the rest of the world would soon experience. So, then, the phrase is making a different point entirely.

It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. Do you see it yet? Here, how about a few more: Jericho had not yet fallen when Rahab hung the scarlet cord from her window; the promised destruction of Nineveh had not yet happened when the people of Nineveh repented (nor did it transpire at all, thanks to their repentance).

What do all of these things have in common? Before the Flood occurred, Noah build the ark to keep himself, his family, and all the many animals safe during the Flood. Before Jericho was destroyed, Rahab listened to the instruction of the Israelite spies and hung a scarlet cord from her window, which ultimately kept her and her family safe from destruction. Before Nineveh was destroyed, upon hearing the warning from Jonah they repented, and their repentance moved Jehovah to forgive them and change His mind about the calamity he had foretold.

All of them took action before the calamity.

All of them prepared themselves before the destruction came.

Just like in Noah’s day, our world, this system of things, is destined for destruction. We know that it is. Are you doing all that you can to prepare yourself for it? Are you taking action now? These questions are of vital importance to you, and to all of us who serve Jehovah. What can be done to prepare yourself for the coming judgment? How can you make sure that you are giving it your all, that you are giving to Jehovah as much as possible within your current circumstances?

The New Personality

“...Strip off the old personality with its practices, and clothe yourselves with the new personality, which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it[.]” (Col. 3:9,10)

This is the key. This is what we all need to prepare ourselves, to improve ourselves. Like disrobing from ratty, dirty old rags and donning new, bright, beautiful vestments, we need to strip off the old personality and replace it with the new. Of course, this goes beyond mere superficial appearances. The Apostle Paul said that “even if the man we are outside is wasting away, certainly the man we are inside is being renewed from day to day.” (2 Cor 4:16) Clothing can, over time, waste away. So can our flesh, our health, despite healthy living habits. But even though the physical can waste away, the spiritual and the moral can always be made more firm. Can be renewed. The new personality is renewal, and not just a one time event. It is a path of constant renewal, constant action. Constant positive action.

The building of Noah’s ark took 40 years. For those of you who are 40 and up, you have a sense of that length of time. For those younger, like myself, it can be hard to get a feel for that amount of time. In our day and age, our years are “70 years, or 80 if one is especially strong.” (Ps. 90:10) In Noah’s day, people lived a lot longer, hundreds of years in fact. What is 40 years to 600 or more? But to those of us who are fortunate if we see 80, 40 years is no small amount of time. That is half a lifespan (or more, if one does not reach 80). To spend that amount of time on one project requires true commitment. If Jehovah approached you today and asked you to build an ark just like the one Noah built, and informed you that it would take 40 years for you to complete, would you do it? Would you spend half of your life, or more, building what appeared to be little more than a massive box?

“Of course I would!”

But would you? Would you really? I am not asking this because I doubt you (I do not). I am asking this so that you might be free from doubt. If you agreed to the commission, then it would be incumbent upon you to do it. “Whenever you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it, for he finds no pleasure in the stupid ones. What you vow, pay.” (Eccl. 5:4)

Say that you have agreed to take on this commission, that you have taken this vow. Work begins on the ark. A day goes by. Is it done? No, you’ve only just begun. You’ve only just begun to clear the area, and are not even near the measuring stage yet. There’s no ark yet. One day down, 14,609 to go.

With the sun sinking on the horizon, you flop back on your bed, tired from a long day of felling trees. There are more trees yet to fell, and then after that you need to make the proper measurements. And then after that you will begin cutting and hauling and shaping the wood for the ark. And then after that...

One day down, 14,609 to go.

It seems so daunting, the work ahead of you. The stretch of time ahead of you. Do you lay back and begin to wonder what sorts of activities you could do in a 40 year span had you not agreed to this? Do you let the weight of your vow dishearten you, press down upon you like a heavy stone?

Or do you banish such thoughts and instead think about what a privilege it is that Jehovah has chosen you for this task? There are millions of Jehovah’s faithful servants today, but he chose you. Does that not warm your heart, that Jehovah believes in you? He saw good in you; he saw a person who could do this work. He knows you can do it. He has faith in you. If the God who created everything, who made the heavens and the earth, who has done many powerful works and will yet do many more--if he has faith in you, then what truly stands between you and the completion of the task?

Only one thing. Only one person. You.

A Single Step

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - Chinese Proverb

Let’s go back to the end of that first day. You’ve felled some trees, but you still need to clear more before you have enough room to work with. What is it you’ve done? You’ve taken a single step. The first step.

The completed ark will be a wonderful sight when it is complete, but that is 39 years and 364 days away, and only if you keep at your commission. But now that you’ve taken the first step, you’re one step closer to that goal. If you taken another step, another day of work, how far will you be then? 39 years and 363 days away. But that is still closer than before. If you take another step, and then another, that number will gradually diminish. The distance will diminish as the ark grows.

Now what if I told you that you are the ark? Each step towards renewing yourself and cultivating the new personality is growth, is improvement, is a step in the right direction. Each step seems so small, and you might feel that you’re not changing, that you’re not getting anywhere, that your goal is so far off that it is impossible to reach.

But you are. You’re getting there. But what you need to do is to stop looking for results. We all need to stop looking for results.

Say that you pioneer, that you go out faithfully day after day, 50 or 70 or more hours per month. You spend a good deal of your time in the preaching work, in the ministry, fulfilling the commission that Jehovah has given to each of us. Instead of building an ark, we’re looking for honest-hearted individuals to bring into the figurative ark of Jehovah’s organization. We’re looking for potential brothers and sisters, looking for the lost lambs, looking to save as many as possible.

So, you’re pioneering, and you put in all this time and effort, and...you get no response. Those whom you call upon you can never seem to find home again. Some you’ve called upon many times tell you to stop coming by. Your return visits are minimal, and you have no Bible studies. How does this make you feel?

If it makes you feel disheartened, then you are not alone. Many brothers and sisters have felt the same after similar things have happened to them. So much time preaching and teaching, with nothing to show for it. You don’t see any results. “Jehovah, why don’t I have any studies? I’ve been going out, I’ve been searching, I’ve been doing all that you have commanded me, and yet still it seems like I’m not getting anywhere!”

The purpose of the ministry is indeed to “make disciples of people of all the nations...teaching them to observe all the things” that Jesus commanded us. (Matt. 28:18,20) But there is more to it than that. Why do we do it? Because Jesus commanded us to, relaying the command from his father, Jehovah. We do it because we obey, because we want to obey, Jehovah. It is a lifesaving work, but it saves more than just those that we call on. It saves us as well.

In his first letter to Timothy, Paul wrote: “Pay constant attention to yourself and to your teaching. Persevere in these things, for by doing this you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.” (1 Tim. 4:16, italics mine) When you go out in the ministry, you are giving of your time and resources, giving of yourself, losing your soul that you might find it. You are obeying Jehovah. Your study and preparation in advance of going out to preach expands your knowledge of God’s word, and brings you closer to him.

So much more results from our ministry than just numbers on a sheet of paper. X amount of hours, return visits, placements. For each of those hours you spent out in the ministry, you were reviewing the material in your head, going over your presentation, committing the scriptures to memory, and praying without letup. Maybe you have no return visits, studies, or placements to show for it all, but you have obedience to God, you have meditation on his word, and you have an ever-strengthening friendship with him. The ministry saves the lives of those we find, saves our lives...and brings all into the bosom of Jehovah.

Nothing is impossible for Jehovah. He could have done the ministry without us. He didn’t need humans to accomplish this work, and yet he gave us the privilege and the honor of doing it. He has faith in us. He knows we can do it. He had faith in Noah as well. He knew Noah could build the ark. The faith he has in us imperfect humans, the love he has for us...

If he asked you to build the ark, would you?

The Importance of Cultivation

When you plant a seed in the ground, you do so with the expectation of growth, do you not? Beyond nutritious soil and the light of the sun, what else does it need? It needs water.

But is watering it once enough? And will it be fully grown tomorrow?

You and I both know that that isn’t enough. Plants need to be watered regularly, and their rate of growth varies, but it isn’t accomplished in a mere day. So what do you do? You water it, again and again, and you wait. Planting and harvesting are fairly quick things, but cultivation takes time.

It is a tendency of us imperfect humans to want to see results quickly, sometimes instantly. But that’s not how life works. Life isn’t an instantaneous thing. When you were conceived, were you born the next day? No, you developed over the course of 9 months in your mother’s womb.

There is no instant life. Neither are there instant results.

When you first call on someone out in the ministry, will they be baptized the very next day? Not likely. You will have to call again and again, you will have to teach them, and eventually, hopefully, they will come to a knowledge of the truth and get baptized.

Will everyone you call on respond? Again, not likely. While we wish to help as many as possible, not everyone will respond to the good news that we preach. Not every heart is “fine soil.” (Matt. 13:8)

How will you respond to not seeing the results that you personally wish to see? Does a farmer not plant seed at all because he knows the promised fruit will take weeks, if not months, to grow? Or does he plant, and water, and have faith, waiting patiently for his crop?

Plant, water, and have faith. Let that be enough. Let the doing be enough. We were told to “go and make disciples”, but no number was specified. Be joyful in doing what you have been asked, and when the harvest eventually comes, then your joy will be made even greater.

Make Yourself Better

Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn

Wouldn’t it be nice if serving Jehovah were easy? I’m sure we’ve all wished at some point or another that it were easy, or at least easier than it is now.

The Apostle Paul was a wonderful example of zeal. He ate, lived, and breathed his ministry. But it wasn’t easy for him. Paul himself listed for us the many trials and tribulations he experienced during his ministry: “I have done more work, been imprisoned more often, suffered countless beatings, and experienced many near-deaths. Five times I received 40 strokes less one from the Jews, three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I experienced shipwreck, a night and a day I have spent in the open sea; in journeys often, in dangers from rivers, in dangers from robbers, in dangers from my own people, in dangers from the nations, in dangers in the city, in dangers in the wilderness, in dangers at sea, in dangers among false brothers, in labor and toil, in sleepless nights often, in hunger and thirst, frequently without food, in cold and lacking clothing.” (2 Cor. 11:23-27)

And on top of all of that, he reports that he was “given a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan, to keep slapping me, so that I might not be overly exalted.” (2 Cor. 12:7) While we do not know the precise nature of this ‘thorn’, we do know that it was distress to our brother Paul. He already dealt with so much in serving Jehovah, only to have this added on top of the pile! In verse 8, he says: “Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it would depart from me.” He prayed fervently, more than once, for the thorn to be removed. He prayed for relief from this thorn, so that things would go easier for him. What was Jehovah’s response?

“My undeserved kindness is sufficient for you, for my power is being made perfect in weakness.” (vs. 9) Jehovah would not remove the ‘thorn’ from his flesh. His undeserved kindness was enough. It would not be made easier for Paul; he would have to accept this decision and continue on serving with what Jehovah was already giving him.

Look again at the quote above. “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.” It is all right to pray to Jehovah, asking for relief from some problem, some ‘thorn’. Jehovah will not punish you for that. But he may, like Paul, answer your prayer in a different way. He might not remove the thorn, but he may help you to find the strength to endure it.

However, brothers and sisters, I encourage you to pray, not for it to be easier, but for you to become better. Pray for holy spirit, not to cure your aches and pains, but to help teach you, to help you look into the deep things of God, to help you become better preachers and teachers of his word, to help you find honest-hearted ones. Don’t wish that the ministry or your personal study be easier, but that you may have more opportunities to preach and to study.

Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Make yourself better. Work on putting on and cultivating the new personality. We are imperfect and weak, but Jehovah’s “power is being made perfect in weakness” and we can always improve. If your daily Bible reading has lapsed, then start it up again. Read a little bit at a time, meditate on it, grow, and most importantly, continue. Prepare for the meetings, not just this week, but the next, and the one after that, and so on. Continue. Cultivate. Cultivate yourself. Water yourself, so that you might water others. Put on the new personality, so that you might encourage and help guide others to do so. Be joyful in the doing. Be happy in doing what is right.

But do it now. Now, before the calamity. Before the Flood comes, build an ark to safeguard your heart, and do your best to bring others into Jehovah’s protective ark, the congregation. Before the walls fall down, hang the scarlet cord out of the window, declaring that you are a servant and a witness of the Most High God, Jehovah. Before the judgment comes, repent and put on sackcloth, and “seek righteousness, seek meekness. Probably you will be concealed on the day of Jehovah’s anger.” (Zeph. 2:3)

Saturday, 16 February 2019

A Basket of Summer Fruit (02/07/19)

See! A basket of summer fruit!
This system of things is coming to its end.
The wicked will not partake of the fruit -
no pressed cakes will they make for themselves -
but it is they who will be pressed and crushed
in the winepress of His anger.
No poultices will they make for themselves;
their boils will fester and no healing will be found.
The fruit will rot,
and dogs and flies will be attracted to it,
devouring the disgusting thing.

No Man's Land (02/04/19)

I do not belong in the world,
nor am I part of the congregation.
This is a no man's land,
it is solitary confinement.

I should fill these prison walls
with songs to my God
and populate it with many thoughts
arising from His word.

Words of February 3, 2019

Outside, the snow falls.
Inside, I am stabbed at heart;
I have been cast out.

--------

With pencil in hand,
lazy Sunday afternoon
shows me uninspired

--------

Snow is in the air
and the sky is a grey mass -
Winter's sad beauty

--------

there will come a day
when my heart will stop condemning me
and that day will be
the day of my death

--------

Do you ever just want to completely unravel
and then let the yarn of your body
be knitted into something warm and new?

Let This Exile Not Be Forever

Jehovah kept sending against me his prophets;
again and again they would come against
the chiefs and princes of my heart,
but I did not listen.

And now? Now he has removed me from my people,
sending me into exile;
I wear the prison chains imposed upon me
by a worldly king.
I am in distress.
I have done wrong,
and I am being disciplined for it.

But now, O Jehovah,
look within me,
and see my change of heart!
I am limited in my exile, but look!
My eyes are roving your word,
making me forget these chains of mine.
Look! You are beginning to take shape within my thoughts,
and these prison walls fade away.
Your prophets you do not send,
but their words return to me,
correcting and guiding me,
reaching my heart now unlike before.

I can only hope, Jehovah, Loving Father,
that this exile of mine may not be forever.
Please let it be as long as need be
for the correcting and healing of me,
and no more.
Please do not leave me in this prison forever,
to waste away to nothing,
to die and be taken away to that lasting house,
and no more see any days under the sun.

Today I read of Amos

Today I read of Amos,
the pronouncements against Moab, Judah, and Israel:
haughtiness, corruption, idolatry, immorality!
Like road sand mixing with snow,
stealing away the purity and beauty,
so were the thoughts and actions of those ancient ones.

Father, Sovereign Lord,
may I renounce sinfulness and cling to you,
just as the snow clings
to the swaying branches of the firs.
May I be like the purest snow,
receiving your light and reflecting it,
magnifying your great name.

Tuesday, 29 January 2019

Put the past behind you (and leave it there)

If you have put the past behind you,
then leave it there.
It is not like the things "written aforetime",
the past which upbuilds and strengthens.
It is the past of one doing wicked and sinful things,
things which you have since repented of,
things which you are now making an effort not to carry out.

If you have said "forgive me, Jehovah, for I have sinned,"
and with downcast eyes have torn away your right hand,
and are now seeking to do what is good with "a heart broken and crushed,"
then be of good cheer! Jehovah has forgiven you.
Indeed, He is "good and ready to forgive,"
and "there is more joy over one who repents
than over 99 who are not in need of repentance."

Listen closely, and you will hear the rapture in Heaven,
Jehovah and Jesus and the myriad angels
glad of your change of course.
Hear their joy, and may it be your joy as well!
Though it is only right for your heart to rebuke you
when you are doing what is wrong,
be sure to rebuke it when you are doing what is right.
Do not let your heart cause you to give up
in doing what is fine,
do not let guilt resurge over what no longer is.

Love can turn a ruthless queen / into a blushing young maiden

Love can turn a ruthless queen
into a blushing young maiden.
Love can take the crooked and twisted
and make them smooth and straight.
It can make the fanged smile of the devious
into the gentle smile of the upright.
It can take those who merely devour love
and teach them to give love freely.

Rare is the one beyond hope,
rare is the one who cannot change.
May all those whose hearts compel them to wickedness
turn around and seek a heart of righteousness,
a heart not of stone but of flesh,
a heart which The Almighty
can write upon with His finger.

Monday, 14 January 2019

Live Simply (Thoughts from Ecclesiastes)

Do not strive after desires,
but look at what is before you
and be content.

Do not seek recognition,
for after you are gone there is no guarantee
that you will be remembered;
the rich and the poor alike are forgotten.

Live simply,
and take pleasure in your hard work.
Eat and drink, your face ruddy with joy,
and sleep with the peace
of one having few possessions.

Sunday, 13 January 2019

On Pain / You Are Precious Jewels

I remember talking with a man who had a positive relationship with pain. He told me: “I embrace pain, because it reminds that I am alive.” What an attitude to have! I could not help but be impressed. Pain is of course “not joyous, but grievous,” but the fact that one is sensate, that one is still able to feel and experience the world around them, that they are ALIVE...what great joy that is! Shall we not rather be here on earth, living the good days as well as the bad, rather than not living them at all? Every day of your life, strive to find some joy, even though you may be suffering.

Let your existence be a joy.
Let the sun in the sky be a joy.
Let the clouds covering the sun be a joy.
Let the rainforests,
dripping with moisture,
be a joy.
Let the parched desert,
baked by the fiery sun,
be a joy.
Let all the numerous things crawling
and swimming and flying,
buzzing and singing and crying,
let all of them be a joy.

Let God’s words to you be a joy,
even when you are trembling with pain,
your body alternating cold and hot,
your nerves on fire, causing you to gasp and groan,
and aches resounding in your tired bones,
let His words pierce through the veil of pain
and give your spirit relief;
may they help you to endure,
to continue on,
to see that life, no matter how hard it can be,
is something to be valued.

You are precious jewels,
my brothers, my sisters,
and you are held and appraised
in the hands of God.
How good and pleasant it is
for brothers and sisters to dwell in unity,
for you to be a treasure hoard
belonging to your heavenly Father.
Let this bond of unity
give you ever more joy,
and ever more reason to look on life
with a grateful heart.

Saturday, 12 January 2019

30 I'll Be

I feel I have to start over,
clean the slate.
I have to regain what I have lost,
before it is too late.
To reacquaint myself with the deep things
belonging to Truth,
and leave behind my wayward youth.

In just a few weeks 30 I'll be,
the same age that Christ began his ministry.
I've squandered my childhood,
wasted my teens,
and become a man wasted and mean.
It's time to leave the path I'm on,
and follow Christ's footsteps forever and anon.

Help me, Jehovah, father of all,
to make the necessary changes:
some great, many small.
The reading of your word,
followed by meditation,
will help me to find my holy station.
Preaching and teaching,
fulfilling Christ’s commission,
this is something of which
there should be no omission.

Saturday, 5 January 2019

Once More A Sinner

I have fallen, I have erred;
once more contravened His commands.
Miserable, disgusting wretch that I am!
Why cannot I get a hold of myself
and pummel myself
and lead my body as a slave to righteousness?
This sickness has eaten me up,
for most of my life it has held me
in its fleshly sway.

I am so tired of it.
I am so tired of life.
Do not worry, I shall not seek the grave
(I have no such authority to do so),
but I am tired of harming myself in this way:
eating junk and destroying my flesh,
corrupting my flesh with unholy pleasures,
and avoiding His word and his statutes,
preferring the unadvantageous things of the world.

My God, My God, why have I forsaken you?


Thursday, 3 January 2019

The Wick of Life

You are not alone. 
You are trampled, but not completely crushed. 
The wick of life still burns within, 
a small flame that casts its flickering light 
to any who take notice. 

I know you are hurt. 
I, too, am a victim, though in my case 
I am both victim and villain, 
the cause of most of my pain. 
I do not doubt that you are your own villain too. 
Actually, I am sure that most of humanity 
is its own villain. 
We try to crush ourselves, 
and failing that, 
we try to crush others. 

What is the antidote to this? 
First, we must put a stop to this madness. 
We must look deep within 
and see not something to be punished, 
but to be pitied. 
Our own hearts condemn us, 
and then they condemn the world. 
Instead, let us rebuke our callous hearts, 
admonishing them for such abuse, 
and then gently encourage them to sing 
in strains of love and kindness. 

This is not something that will be accomplished overnight. 
Like strengthening a muscle, we must repeat this action, 
stopping our heart from violence, 
whether upon ourselves or others, 
and gently guide it towards love. 
We must keep a close eye on it, 
for of all things it is the most treacherous, 
and not allow it to fall back into abusive behaviour. 

And when our hearts overflow with love, 
then our mouths will drip with honey, 
and our eyes will sparkle like the sun on the lake, 
and we will reach out and transform others. 
The wick of life will become a thick, braided cord, 
you and I and Jehovah, 
burning brighter and brighter without letup, 
until the world is naught but light.

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

Life Bringer


III. 
Teary eyes upon an eiderdown.
The great king gives up breath:
a sacrifice for the people.

A passing zephyr brings
hope
and the rainbow bird
rains down life.

O Life Bringer,
come dancing
down
to us!

XI.
Birds suddenly return to my dance.
Spring songs in the jungle glade,
I warble like the newcomer.

Bygone men grace my footpath.
Youth is their aura.

So too I am young.
I call birds to the revelry of life joy.
I dine with the lamb, I commune with the cobra.

Hiss.

XVIII.

For my ears to hear 
flute song.

For my heart to jump 
like the sun at dawn.

But no, raised voices
in the pit of money and despair.

XXII.
Oh that the fire would yield to a Word.
A ray of peace within my being.

The jagged knife
goes gently into the soul.
Tears cascade forth in numbers.

O Life Bringer, feed me.
Milk is not enough for this man.

XXVI.
I am caught feverish among strewn books.
No words arouse my heart.
The spirit does not seem to be
with me today.

To lift the sun.
To warm the valley river.

XXVIII.

The skylark drags a third
of the evening sky.
The stars on the mountaintop
cascade
into the valley of dreams.

Crickets sing. Silent thoughts
become manifest, they grow
into tangible miracles.

The citizens of Corazon carry half-dead men
to soothing rest.
So love does still abound.
If only oil and wine
were pouring into my heart.

XXIX.
Do you listen, O Life Bringer,
when I call?

For an emptiness has taken me
and reduced me to a wild man in the field.
Scarlet has bloomed in my flesh,
and I have hidden it from sight.

Must I reveal it? It pains me to do so,
O Life Bringer.
I cry out with birth pains among the secret.
It is trying to be born before them.

My spirit tank is empty,

and there is no station in sight.
O Life Bringer, make scarlet white.
Tow me to you,
and help me give birth to the truth.

XXX.
The sun through the trees. I am loving more and more
today, but
this heart dies.
Why do I love the broken cup of this world?

O Life Bringer, show me chains.
Lead me to the prison of freedom, of peace.
Your iron bars feel so soft and comforting,
like outstretched arms.

The sun is your loving smile.

Awakening 12/31/2018

I need to wake up to life again,
for I have slept for far too long;
These Days are no time for sleeping.

I need to remove the stones from the well
and allow fresh water from above
to fill it and overflow it;
the well is my heart,
and the water, words that speak of life joy.

I need to acknowledge God again,
for I cannot live without Him
(though unconsciously I have tried).
It is He who can wake me up,
it is He who can fill my well,
and it is He who can lead me into eternity.